The Art Of Kissing

Kissing is so beautifully paradoxical; at once both incredibly simple and deliciously complicated. It's the first powerfully intimate act you engage in with that new special someone. Kissing is that "First Step", which implies it's a small, relatively easily attainable rung on the ladder. But, despite that implied availability, kissing is crucially important to an intimate sexual relationship. If there is a real simpatico between the lips of you and your lover, it's like nuclear fuel for your love life; just a little bit creates incredible heat. Kissing the one you love can also be a profoundly healing, even spiritual, endeavor. 

But, if, the two of you don't kiss well together, it's a problem. A Deal Breaker, even. And, come to think of it, that's what's best. Because if I don't like the way you kiss, and you don't like the way I kiss, it's best to cut our losses. Like, now. Because it's not fixable. 

That particular problem of mutually incompatible kissing has arisen in my romantic life once before. On some level, I knew it was doomed because of that from day one. Except we didn't cut our losses, because we had such the hots for each other, that, well, kissing got overlooked. Until it couldn't be overlooked. It's not the main reason why the relationship failed, but it certainly had something to do with it. Somewhere, in the recesses of my romantic subconscious, I knew the answer to the question, "Can I be with a woman who doesn't like how I kiss?", was a deafening, "No".

We learn to kiss on the fly. We learn to kiss by kissing. Which means we aren't very good at it in the beginning. I was especially wretched. I had a mouthful of metal and no confidence at seventeen, when I first made out with a girl in the backseat of my buddy's 1971 green Ford LTD. By that time, I had been aching for a lip press for about five fuckin' years. So when I finally got it, it meant something to me. It mattered. 

Kissing a girl had been an elusive Holy Grail for years. I had literally, dreamt about it. So I was determined that, once I got it, even though I may suck at first, I was gonna get good at it, quickly. I was gonna apply whatever instinctive tools I had. I was gonna practice, pay attention, and be really into it. I was gonna dig deep and I was gonna bring it, every time. Like Tom Brady, waiting for his chance to take the helm at quarterback, whenever I finally, achingly, engaged, it was All Systems Go At Maximum Warp. I was gonna be great at this.

Join me for part two. Like a great first kiss, this is just a tease......

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